Panic Attack


[Read like a mysterious narration, Max-Payne style if you'd prefer]

I was surfing the web. It was around 3 AM. I had a bunch of apps running. Flash-Develop was open. Visual Studio was hiding in the back, sleeping like a little baby. Chrome was trying to show me some code while FF was busy downloading. All nice n quiet. A little too quiet…

Suddenly, my system stops responding. Just like that! Clank!

Must have been some updates - I lean back and hope that it starts responding. I wait like a predator, I click when the time is right… But it's one of those days where the prey doesn't show up.

I right click on my desktop. A menu opens up - I click, nothing happens. Ah, it’s happening again. I open the task-manager somehow. An achievement in itself - I still got it…

It was cold, I was suspicious...

I glance at all the processes. FF has triggered some plugin-container.exe. Uses memory, releases mem… Ahh! Cmon.. Make up your mind you lil piece of worthless javascript.

I couldn’t find anything that looks like malware. It’s getting late, my eyes are dreamy. I remember those good old days - when Win32 parite had screwed up my system. It took me a while to recover from that. But I couldn't let that happen again… Part of life is to not make the same mistake more than thrice…

I never have Anti-virus installed; I've always been the madcap-RAM-preserver-for-some-later-use type. So it’s gonna be all manual…  Just like the ol’ times.

I run Regedit - surprisingly it comes up. I was shell-shocked! I thought to myself, why didn’t they disable this thing, what are they up to? They don't want me to suspect… very nice... finally a challenge.

I sit there in the corner, feeling dizzy. Its 4 in the morning, I hear crows. Must be the ol' ones who need to pee... Sheesh. I close the windows. Dead-silence, I like it.

I enter the kitchen, make some coffee… really strong. The caffeine wakes me up. I sit there sipping, thinking what to do next - no clue. It suddenly occurs to me… the last resort.

I put in my Backtrack Live distro – Reboot; too much text. Damn, I hope to find some bad ass code in my C drive. Could this be the stuxnet? Nah... The Linux boots up, nice dragon I think to myself. I click on the Shell icon...Nothing happens. What the hell! It's then I realize.... R.I.P Mouse.

All this pain and panic - for nothing. If only, never mind and I doze off… Cometh the sweet dreams.

My mouse, with wings - like an Angel. She calls out to me. She brings up images of those nice things we clicked together. All the emoticons - the good times. All those dumb message boxes. There was too much history. I couldn't bear it. I woke up. Must get over it…

I wait till its noon. The Sun is vertical, shadow of the eagles blind me... so does the shadow of the crows... pigeons... you get the point. I lead my life as I want to. I defined it when I was a kid. I re-defined it my teens. I re-re-defined when I completed my college. All those re-definitions… nothing in common, except - I am the GOD of laziness. So I had to stick to it... Self respect.

I look outside the window, I see a shop. They sell mouse, whole bunch of em. Hanging there… One of those could be mine. I check my wallet, I have the cash. But should I go? No... Self-respect. Can’t afford to walk…

I ping my partner in crime. Poor guy, was sick. Somehow he pings back. I ask him to get me a mouse and come to my house. I know he's sick. But who cares. He agrees, probably had a .32 up and ready for me. I sit there, lean back… So I'm gonna get a new mouse, in less than 2 hours. All I have to do is wait, but can I? Nah, too lazy to wait... Self-respect.

I press the Win button on keyboard, I see a blue thing. It reads control panel. I see mouse settings... My angel... Hang on I'm coming.

I change the settings - to Left-handed. I right-click, and it left-clicks... Sweeet. My mouse is back, with just one wing left. But that'll do. I ping my friend and ask him to back-off. Nobody takes my angel away from me.

I learnt my lesson that day, Self respect. Stick with that one thing that defines you... defines who you really are.

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